From Exhaustion to Empowerment: How I Learned to Lead From My True Self - working with a coach

For years, I shaped my career around one belief: if I take up too much space, I’ll be a burden.

So, I adapted. I said yes when I wanted to say no. I took on more tasks than were mine. I stayed late, volunteered for extra projects, and kept proving myself. On the surface, I was independent, reliable, hardworking - the person others could count on.

But under the surface, I was exhausted.

Burnout followed me from one role to another. I told myself it was the workload, the systems, or the lack of resources. Yet what I couldn’t admit then was that I had lost touch with my own voice. Even my self-care felt performative - what I thought I should be doing, not what I truly needed.

I was fitting in, not belonging. Pleasing others, not leading myself. And all the while, I feared that my real needs, desires, and ambitions would hurt someone else if I spoke them aloud. So I silenced them.

The Turning Point - Meeting with a coach

When I booked my recent coaching session (yes coaches have their own coaching sessions), even then the fear whispered: Don’t overwhelm your coach. She has her own challenges.

It was the same dynamic I lived out in my work - protecting others by silencing myself. One part of me wanted to speak up, and another pulled me back into invisibility.

And then, in that session, I met the part of myself I had been hiding at work for years. The part who wanted to contribute ideas. The part who wanted recognition. The part who wanted space to lead.

For so long, she had carried the false belief that she didn’t deserve it.

In that moment, I finally saw her. I gave her my attention, compassion, and permission. We made a pact: I would no longer abandon her in the name of protecting others. She would have space to think, to create, to express, and to lead.

In that session, meeting my younger, unseen part wasn’t just emotional - it was transformational. By giving her space, I realised something vital: I don’t have to keep fixing the past or fighting against it.

Instead, I can integrate every part of me - past and present - so that when I step forward in my career, I do it from wholeness. My next moves aren’t about overcompensating or proving myself. They’re about leading from alignment.

That’s what authentic leadership really is: not hiding parts of ourselves, but including them, integrating them, and moving forward from a place of clarity and truth.

The Career Insight - Empowerment

Transformation in your career doesn’t come from working harder or doing more. It begins when you stop silencing the part of you that wants to be visible.

When you believe your needs, strengths, and ambitions are a burden, you keep playing small. But when you welcome that part of you with compassion, you step into authentic leadership - the kind that doesn’t drain you, but sustains you.

Your career isn’t meant to be built on hiding or over-giving. It’s meant to reflect your voice, your values, and your vision. The first step is simple but profound: give yourself permission to be visible.

Reflection Exercise - For Your Benefit

Take 10 minutes with your journal and explore these prompts:

• In my career, where do I say “yes” when I mean “no”?

• What part of me feels invisible at work right now?

• What would change if I gave that part of me space, recognition, and a voice?

Notice what arises - not with judgment, but with curiosity.